it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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