yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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