don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You need Xanax blowdarts
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
