I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
