We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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