My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He's on the porch naked. Help.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
