but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
