My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
