Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Come share oat with me in your robe
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
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