Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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