the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
