so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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