Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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