Its about making memories worth repressing
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
