my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
