sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
