I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
