last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
