I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Alive.
So much puke
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Randomize
