Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize