We're like a lot better than the average bears
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
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