I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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