I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
