She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
