Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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