hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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