thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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