oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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