I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
