she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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