My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
