We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I have aggressive nipples.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
