I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
