He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
