I forgot how hot balto sounded
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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