Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
