Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
This house was built for laser tag.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
