mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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