Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
