Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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