my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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