k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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