need another drink. this is the easiest way
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize