Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
