Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
i think my cat just said my name.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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