Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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