i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
