So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
