He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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