Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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