found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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