Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The maid of honor just puked.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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