My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
