this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
