your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
