all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
