dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
