Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize