She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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