I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
