So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
