Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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